Diehard Fans

Thus far, the offseason in Oakland has been a rather monotonous time for fans. True fans, however, watch their team closely despite long, drawn out periods of inactivity. But, besides this, there are several other ways to tell if you are a "true Raider."Here are the top ten:1. You own more makeup than your wifeIf you have a lockbox containing cover up, eye liner, and lipstick in shades of silver and black, you are a Raider. If it takes you longer on the weekend to put on your makeup than your significant other, you are a hardcore Raider. If you wear makeup during the course of the week, you are sitting alone at the game.2. Tim Duncan plays for the Raiders, followed by the San Antonio SpursIf you are a Raider, when you hear the name "Tim Duncan" come from somebody's mouth, you immediately think to yourself: Kicker, 6'2", 209 pounds out of Arizona. You then later on realize that they were talking about the San Antonio Spurs' All-Star center and then ponder how much you love the Spurs' colors.3. When someone calls you a "poor sap," you smile back and think of big 99If a friend refers to you as a "poor sap," you don't think you are a pitiful fool. Instead, you are an underpaid defensive tackle for the . And heck, you are part of the Raiders, so it doesn't matter how poor you are-this is a flattering compliment.4. You think the Pope is John Paul FoschiYou sit back wondering how John Paul Foschi regularly flies from Rome, Italy to Oakland, California without any complaints. You then say a quick prayer to Pope John Paul Foschi before watching the Monday Night matchup between the Raiders and Broncos匶ou are a Raider.5. You don't know what the 2006 Mitsubishi Raider looks like, but you are saving up for it anywayAll you know is that the 2006 Mitsubishi Raider is a midsize pickup truck that starts at about $20,000. Because of the name, you save up all of your earnings and purchase the vehicle in black and slap on a Raiders' bumper sticker. Later on, you realize that it gets just seven miles to the gallon in the city. But because of the name, you plan on purchasing the same automobile in 2007.6. A Badger is an offensive guard before a burrowing animalYou go to the zoo and anxiously await your arrival to the badger exhibit. Soon after, you realize it's just a small, brown animal with a bushy tail. You throw your zoo map to the ground and then storm the admission gate for a full refund.7. You can correctly spell Brad LekkerkerkerIf you closely examined the above name and nodded your head in consent, you are a Raider.8. Speedy Gonzales is a banned cartoon in your householdBecause the fast, foreign mouse has a name that closely resembles that of the despised tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, the Mexican animation is a forbidden character in your family circle. This is enforced through extensive planned programming and collective cable channel charts. Your children wonder why the name "Gonzalez" is so evil; you tell them he started World War III and then leave the room quickly in a deep sweat.9. You watch NFL Europe just to see Anttaj Hawthorne playYou order a pizza on Saturday and sit down to watch the Frankfurt Galaxy battle it out with the Hamburg Sea Devils. You may think the ball can legally be caught off the bounce-but still, Anttaj Hawthorne is in at defensive tackle. When the 6'2", 310 pounder pushes over an opposing offensive lineman, you cheer like the Raiders won another playoff game against the NY Jets.10. You have two sons; their names are Marcus and AllenYou really wanted to name your two boys Napoleon and Kaufman, but feared for their grammar school lives. So instead, you settled for a less-favorable Marcus and Allen.Are you a true Raider?